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On Waiting

Susan Yates
January 13

I do not like to wait. I don’t like to wait for things to happen, for relationships to be fixed, for problems to be solved, for enlightenment to come, for suffering to end, for God to work. I don’t know anyone who really enjoys waiting. But life is full of waiting.

I often tell mothers of young children to teach their kids to learn to wait–––to wait for their turn to play with a toy, to be able to purchase something they really want, to wait to be allowed to . . .

If they begin to learn to wait when they are young they will be more likely to wait for sexual satisfaction until married, to wait for the promotion they desire instead of cheating their way to achieve, to wait for a relationship to heal instead of quitting.

One of the difficult things about having adult children is watching them have to wait. Our mother instinct wants to fix things; after all we spent many of their early years doing just this. It is hard because it’s an ingrained habit, born of love that’s hard to break. But now we watch as our adult child has to wait for a job, wait as she struggles with infertility, wait for the mate that hasn’t appeared, or . . .

As Moms we suffer for them. Most of the time there is nothing we can do. Sometimes there’s something we want to do but we should not. They are adults now. We should not bail them out. So what can we do when we watch our children in the hard place of waiting?

  • We can give them perspective. It’s often in the waiting that God speaks lessons and words we would not hear apart from the waiting. Let them know that we aren’t panicked. We have lived long enough to know that God always comes through, on His timetable. God does what is best not necessarily what is fast. He is working while we are waiting.
  • We can pray for them. Pray that God will speak to them as they wait. Encourage them to be in the scriptures. The Psalms are especially helpful when we are in a waiting time because David is so honest about his frustrations and yet, he constantly turns us back to the character of God.
  • We can affirm who they are. When our kids are in a hard place they need to be affirmed. “I am so proud of the way you are handling this. I see you growing in endurance and that’s a great trait.” Point out the unique gifts that God has given them–––sensitivity, creativity, unusual people skills, hardworking, etc. Ask God to show you the uniqueness of your child.
  • We can run to God ourselves. Our kids need to see where we go in times of trial. Our faith is a security for them.  Proverbs 14:26 says, “He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress and for his children it will be a refuge.”

While we watch our child wait we have a unique opportunity to hear from God personally ourselves. “God, what would you teach me during this time? I want to hear from you. Please speak to me in a way that will draw me closer to you.”

And wait for His word of blessing!


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Anonymous @ 1/18/2009 3:44:42 PM 
I had been saving this newsletter to read "when I had time". Isn't it amazing how God's timetable is always working? My adult daughter made a move 2 states away the week before Christmas to live with a boyfriend (obviously not something I wanted for her). She has been tested in her time there in not being able to find a job. This has caused her to draw closer to a former pastor and his family who live close by to her. I had just read an email from her regarding an interview call-back and pre testing appointment when I finally had time to read the website and the post about waiting time for our children and how hard it is for parents. It was so perfectly timed. I sent some of it to her and some to my own mother who also likes to "fix it" for my children. Thanks for your words and praise be to God for his perfect timing.
Anonymous @ 1/13/2009 8:04:10 AM 
You are a great teacher, Susan! Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.
From Arkansas
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